The wheel of life
I have left the comfort of updating my whine log for the longest time, so much so that there is a tinge of sadness that so much has happened, yet they were not captured for memory sake. Back in my bean counting days, I used to actively update my blog whenever something or someone bothered me at work. Some days I would pen down pensive thoughts that occurred during my drive to and fro work.
When I read my old postings, I noticed an eerie trend. I have been perpetually a sour or bitter person. The mood setting in most of my postings have always been negative or depressing ones. And I wonder why I never really attracted anyone, why would you want to be with a lemon or bitter gourd?
I would love to blog about my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings now, but the stakes are too high. People whom I know may end up reading an emotional piece and that might send out crossed or wrong signals. Often I have suicidal thoughts and tendencies when faced with difficulties in life, this I admit.
By merely saying difficulties in life, that is only the tip of the iceberg. I have not penned down my entire life story here just yet for anyone to make sense of my self destructing tendencies. But now, I am hanging by the cliff, on the verge of losing a precious thing so close to my heart as a result of my own wrongdoings.
Yet, I am not sure if I will have a chance to redeem myself. No matter what I say or do, I cannot turn back time. The wheel of life can so cruel at times…
