2008 - The year that was…
In hours and minutes to come, 2008 will make its departure as we usher 2009 with smiles and a big bang. I thought I’d do a quick reflection on the year that had been and was…
I was just telling a friend over lunch today that it’s not easy that I crossed 2008 somewhat successfully, only to have another brand new year to start all over again today. 2008 was not a year that I have lived in vain and yet it was not exactly a fabulous year for me either.
During this year, I saw some wilt while the rest blossom in their relationships. In the emotion development, it was certainly a year filled with smiles and laughter and yet frowns and cries were not exactly a distance away. But it was through these ups and downs in life that saw my friendship grew stronger. It made me realized that even though I always have friends who will be there for me when I falter, there will come a day and time when it is their turn to waver. Hence the saying that’s what friends are for…
But I guess I didn’t really start 2008 with a list of resolutions, musts and to dos, so when the year finally ended and I lament that I have not achieved much or have little to shout about, that is really wrong. I even forgot when was the last time I actually sit down and reflect on my life and attempt to begin the following year on a better note. I only remember year after year, often I blame the poor ending of my current year that hampered the good beginning of the following year. In my memory, I would only define a good ending of my current year with a long vacation starting from Christmas all the way until New Year’s day. And that’s exactly what I have not been doing as my profession didn’t make it possible for me to go on a long break. But I held no resentment because if I could not change the situation (me unable to go on long leave for the year end vacation), I can only change myself which is something totally in my control.
I guessed I just lose and forgot the plot. I just keep blaming everything and everyone around me for causing my unhappiness…but the truth is, it could be possible that on certain days, some people piss me off big time but it could not possibly be almost everyone around me on every other day or occasion.
Somehow there’s just this unexplainable emptiness in me come year end. Or practically every other day of the year just to be fair. But I reckoned the melancholic effect is magnified several times particularly around year end. I wonder if I will ever be happy?
Assuming if I am being shipped off in a cruise now…will I leave behind all the miseries that I ever owned and move on without my emotional baggage? The truth is, I am very afraid to move on with this life alone because life is such that when you least expect it, it will throw you off the tangent…then you’d be left on your own picking up the shattered pieces of your life. Sigh…
I want to be a different person when I wake up tomorrow…
